Intentional Puppy Raising: Neutrality, Manners, and Mindset

After unpacking the missteps and hard-earned lessons from my time with Beau, bringing Enzo home felt like a chance to begin again—with intention and clarity. Beau came to me at six months old after being pulled from a domestic violence situation, a heartbreaking turn of events that left his breeder unable to keep him. Despite the difficult circumstances, Beau had so much potential. His early foundation in obedience was strong—he knew what to do—but it hadn’t produced emotional stability, through no fault of his own or his breeder. We were starting from a place of emotional fragility rather than behavioral confusion.

Those early experiences shaped his temperament and taught me more than I ever anticipated about trust, patience, and how critical emotional stability is in building a well-rounded dog. 

Welcoming Enzo home offered a rare opportunity: the chance to build that stability from day one. I created a plan informed by every challenge Beau and I had faced—centered on proactive structure, clear communication, and supportive routines. This time, it wasn’t just about avoiding mistakes—it was about honoring what I’d learned and giving Enzo the benefit of a truly intentional start.

Regardless of genetics, German Shepherds are inherently prone to reactivity. Through the guidance of mentors, insights from the training community, and lessons learned in my own hands-on experience, I’ve come to understand that there are two primary types of reactivity: fear-based, which stems from uncertainty or insecurity, and frustration-based, which occurs when a dog becomes overstimulated—whether from excitement or impatience. This understanding has fundamentally shaped the way I approach socialization.

Unlike the common route many dog owners take—dog parks, on-leash greetings with strangers, or high-energy play with unfamiliar dogs—we're focusing on something deeper: neutrality. From day one, our goal with Enzo is to build a calm, confident dog who can move through the world without overreacting to every stimulus. That means going on structured outings where he can observe, process, and desensitize at his own pace. Yes, we do engage in play and social interactions—but only with familiar, stable dogs we trust, and always in a controlled, intentional way. Socialization isn't about flooding Enzo with excitement; it's about teaching him that the world doesn't require a big reaction.

This weaves into the second (and often non-traditional) approach I’m taking with Enzo: we’re starting with manners, not obedience. While many jump straight into teaching sit, down, stay, and leash work—with duration and precision—I’m holding off on formal obedience until around six months old. Yes, that means I get pulled around on a flat collar for now, but I’m okay with that, because the foundation I’m building is about expectations, not commands.

Right now, my focus is on teaching Enzo how to live with us—how to be respectful, thoughtful, and in tune with the rhythm of our home. That includes potty training, calmly sitting in the elevator, not jumping up on people or furniture, coming when called during daily life, and learning how to play appropriately with his little brother, Bear. These are real-world skills that shape his behavior long before we ever step into formal training. For me, obedience can wait—but manners start on day one.

Every dog has their limits—whether it’s physical activity, training sessions, or just the stimulation of daily life. Over the last year, my understanding of crate training has evolved in a big way. It’s no longer just about teaching a dog to be quiet while you’re away or sleep through the night. Crate training, when used thoughtfully, becomes a foundational part of teaching a dog how to decompress.

Decompression is a critical skill, especially for working breeds like German Shepherds who are naturally alert and driven. The crate becomes more than a containment tool—it becomes a cue for rest, regulation, and recovery. It’s a space where the world quiets down and the dog can fully relax, without the pressure to engage or perform.

For Enzo, when time outside of the crate stops being purposeful— or he starts showing signs of mental fatigue—he revisits the crate. Not as punishment, but as a reset. It’s where he learns that rest is just as important as stimulation. Teaching decompression from the start is setting him up to be a more balanced, emotionally resilient dog in the long run.

The last non-traditional piece I want to highlight in how I’m raising Enzo is our approach to food. A lot of owners spend hundreds of dollars on treats, viewing them as special rewards or training essentials. But in many cases, this well-meaning strategy leads to unintended consequences—creating picky eaters or dogs who won’t engage unless high-value rewards are on the table.

Enzo works for all of his food. Outside of potty training or the occasional “big win” moment, he earns his meals through training, enrichment, and engagement. I use his regular kibble for 95% of our sessions. Not only does this keep things simple and sustainable, but it also helps build focus, drive, and a stronger working relationship.

I also rotate in food puzzles and enrichment toys to challenge his brain and give mealtime real purpose. It’s not just about feeding him—it’s about making him think, problem-solve, and channel his energy into productive habits. By turning food into a daily opportunity for learning and connection, I’m reinforcing that his job isn’t to wait for handouts—it’s to participate, stay engaged, and earn what he needs through partnership.

As always, more to come . . .